The Love and Lust Issue

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LOVE & LUST

LOVE & LUST

THE

THE

ISSUE

ISSUE

CONTENTS

Letter to the Editors

Lisa Michell

Editors Note

Eve Kaplan, Sabine Fuchs,

and Kate Ragatz, Emmie

Kao, Sophie Saxl, and

Colette Chang.

Is Hookup Culture

Here to Stay?

Hannah Yang

22 Social Media’s False

Reality

Anya Dalal

15 Is Politics the Ulti-

mate Lust?

Alison Imohiosen

17 A Valentine’s Poem

on Domesticity

Neve Bonura Learnard

19 “I’m in Love with My

AI”

Ashley Chan

25 Love vs. Lust

Riya Kalra

When I Think about

True Love, I Think

About my Aunts

Veronica Colton

Photo by Josie Hsieh

27 The Sexualization of

Luigi Mangione

Kayla Nadershahi and

Annalise Lightfoot

29 “Love on the Brain”—

Quite Literally

Isabel Habibi

31 Valentines to Gal-

entines

Yasmin Charkin

41 An Ongoing Battle of

Oversexualization

in Female Athletics

Harper White

33 Limerence: The

Common Symptom

of Unrequited Love

Kaitlyn Dai

35 The Pressure to

Pursue

Sienna Yang

39Temptation to Tri-

umph: Kendrick La-

mar on Lust Addiction

Brianna Mills

43 Unrealistic Intima-

cy

Rose Chane

45 Peer Resource

Lucy Bakowski

Layout Design

Sabine Fuchs

Jeana Weng

Marissa Higgins

47 How the Sexual

Revolution Harmed

Women and Love in

Unforeseen Ways

Celeste Zucker

Cover Photo

Sadhbh Kilroy

Dear Readers,

Merriam-Webster dictionary defines power as “the possession of control, authority, or

influence over others.” November 5th 2024, will declare not only the state of American

politics, but one of the most crucial points of power in the United States for the next four

years.

In a democracy, power is a cycle—and this month, the ball is in our court. We are the ones

who have power over our governance. As citizens, or occupants of the United States, it is

our civic duty to stay informed about issues pertinent to our country, from misinformation

to gun control. Who do we want in power? And what is their responsibility once in office?

Most importantly, how can we, as Americans, make sense of our own agency and power

for the future?

Whether it’s through peaceful protest, the employment of social media platforms, or po-

litical satire, power takes on a different meaning in each context we place it in. Our mod-

ern political landscape is simply a patchwork of different uses of power— one that we, as

voters, must pick apart piece by piece.

GirlTalk aligns itself with gender, racial, and social equality. We, as a magazine, believe

in an America where every citizen has equal opportunities and rights. Our magazine has

a staff with diverse political views and perspectives. However, as Kamala Harris’ policies

and rhetoric empowers disenfranchised groups and protects Democracy, our magazine

endorses Harris and her platform.

We wish you all an illuminating reading!

Best,

GirlTalk Magazine

Photo by Josie Hsieh

Re: “Te Evolution of Activism,” by Lucy Bakowski

Jan 1, 2025

As a woman and U.S. citizen, activism is in my roots. As

far back as the 1800s, people have used protests to create

change and have their voices heard. In my case, students

in the marching band at my school recently protested

to get more water breaks. In the summer on a scorch-

ing feld continuously running, we desperately needed

relief. We even took this problem to the principal only

to receive a shallow fx that didn’t last more than a day.

Tis leads me to my question: how can we bring about

real change when the world doesn’t want to hear us?

History will tell us to carry on, shout louder, fght hard-

er, and never stop until we get what we want. In our

case, though, we did all of that but were met by our di-

rector scolding us.

As a society, we owe past generations everything. Tey

are the reason we are here today, living with the free-

doms we take for granted. We owe future generations

these liberties, no matter how big or small they may be.

As daughters of activists, it’s our duty to continue our

fght to have our voices heard- no matter what the world

says. So continue with your protests, to better your

world and to have your voice heard. No. Matter. What.

Letter to the

Editors

GirlTalk welcomes letters to the editors from any

individual, group, or organization wishing to contrib-

ute feedback or share their thoughts with our editorial

team and the broader publication audience.

By Lisa Mitchell

Photo by Sadhbh Kilroy

ookTok and Bookstagram are infamous

for their sometimes questionable literary

tastes, ofen pushing books that roman-

ticize “fated mates,” “love at frst sight,”

and other well-worn tropes. But even if millions

of readers indulge in these narratives, the reality of

modern romance looks nothing like the fairy tales

of mafa bosses, werewolves, and undying devotion.

Love is no longer a prerequisite for intimacy. Hook-

up culture has rewritten the script.

Wikipedia defnes “hookup culture” as a social en-

vironment that “accepts and encourages casual sex

encounters, including one-night stands…without

necessarily including emotional intimacy, bonding,

or a committed relationship.” But despite its mod-

ern branding, casual, transactional sex has always

been a part of human history—just under diferent

names.

If we comb through history back to the Babylo-

nians, we can fnd that hookup culture exists in the

form of prostitution. Greek historian Herodotus

wrote that “sacred sexual rites” were performed at

Babylonian temples, where women had to sit at the

temple of Ishtar and wait for a man to throw mon-

By Hannah Yang

Love is no longer a

prerequisite for intimacy.

Is Hookup Culture

Here to Stay?

Photo by Sadhbh Kilroy

ey in her lap (which, to me, seems like an awful

dating game in which those who are unattractive

are quickly singled out and embarrassed). No mat-

ter the sum, she was obligated to follow that man,

have intercourse, and then she would be free to

go back home, likely never seeing the man again.

Te University of Portland writes that in medieval

Europe, men were allowed to engage in as much

adultery and casual sex as they wanted—as long as

it wasn’t with another’s wife. On the other hand, if

a regular wife was even suspected of “hooking up”

with another man, they’d be punished—pointing

to the deeply sexist roots of hookup culture.

But as we entered the 20th century, cultural atti-

tudes began to shif. Promiscuity wasn’t just toler-

ated—it became a symbol of rebellion. Te fem-

inist and gay liberation movements embraced

sexual freedom as an act of defance against op-

pressive norms. Te 1960s brought the rise of birth

control and the era of “free love,” where romance

and sex were deliberately untangled, allowing peo-

ple to explore relationships without rigid societal

expectations. Ten, in the 1980s, the HIV/AIDS

epidemic cast a shadow over the movement, espe-

cially disproportionately afecting members of the

LGBTQ+ community. Te National Institute of

Health noted decades later that the rapid spread of

the disease was linked to a “general liberal attitude

towards sex” and the widespread practice of “un-

protected sex and having multiple sexual partners.”

In the 2000s, the rise of dating apps and popular

speed dating shows like Te Button on YouTube

encouraged a fast-paced approach to romance,

where cycling through multiple partners became

the norm. Tis made fnding a potential match

more convenient but also deeply frustrating for

those seeking real commitment. And while tech-

nology made it easier to connect, it also made it

easier to deceive. A hidden second account, a few

private messages, and sud-

denly, infdelity wasn’t just

possible—it was absolutely

efortless.

Especially as a member of

Generation Z, I’ve heard

the word “virgin” used to

hurt others, even though I

think it’s nothing out of the

ordinary. Losing your vir-

ginity young is considered

a badge of honor in some

social circles, even though

it might’ve been in a fing or

short relationship. But de-

spite the impression that Gen Z and Millennials are

the most sexually active generations, history tells

a diferent story. Hookup culture has always been

there—it’s just been rebranded. And the nostalgia

for “the good old days” of loyal, monogamous rela-

tionships conveniently ignores the fact that women

in the past had far less choice in their love lives than

they do now.

Tat being said, I can’t bring myself to celebrate

hookup culture, either. I understand its appeal—the

autonomy, the thrill, the absence of obligation—

but I also wonder what we lose when sex becomes

purely transactional. Humans crave connection

just as much as they crave freedom, but the more

we detach intimacy from emotion, the easier it be-

comes to treat people as disposable. Humans have

become too comfortable with treating other peo-

ple and their planet as unimportant or disposable.

Hookup culture, in a way, is another microcosm of

human nature—and is one small example of ways

humans have been changing the planet and society

through careless attitudes. Tere’s an extreme preci-

pice that can be reached in hookup culture in which

we become too lenient with the fragility of our rela-

tionships, lives, and society as a whole. Neither side

(being a part of the hookup culture or being against

it) is inherently right or wrong. But it does reveal

the battle between instant gratifcation and the slow

and difcult work of building something deep and

real.

So, is hookup culture here to

stay? Yes—but not because

it’s a modern invention. It

has always existed, shifing

with society’s values and

circumstances, and it will

continue to do so. As long

as humans wrestle with the

tension between desire and

devotion, between self-in-

terest and emotional invest-

ment, there will always be

those who choose passion

without

attachment—just

as there will always be those who search for some-

thing deeper, something enduring. Te question

isn’t whether hookup culture will disappear, but in-

stead how this behavior will evolve—for better or

for worse.

I also wonder

what we lose

when sex

becomes

purely

transactional.

When I think about

True Love

I Think

About

My Aunts

An Interview By Veronica Colton

hen I think about true love, I think of my aunts,

Kriss and Jill. In the 90s, a time when same-

sex relationships were disregarded or outright

shunned, my aunts navigated societal expecta-

tions and complex family dynamics. Despite these challenges,

they persevered, continually choosing each other and proving

that love, in all its forms, is worth fghting for.

Growing up, I never thought twice about their relationship.

Tey were simply two people who loved each other, raised

my cousins, and sometimes drove each other crazy on

family vacations. But as I got older, I started to under-

stand the depth of their story, the strength it took them

to live authentically. Eager to learn more about their

journey, I sat down with them for an interview. What

follows is a conversation that I hope can inspire others.

It is full of honesty, courage, and the kind of love that remains

steady, even when the world isn’t.

How and when did you meet, and

what was it like to be queer during

that time?

10

Photo to the left: Kriss and Jill’s wedding at the Multicultural Art

Center in Cambridge, MA. August 29, 1999.

What drew you to each other? What

do you love about each other?

JILL: More than anyone I’d ever met, she spoke so

genuinely from her heart. I even remember what she

was wearing the frst time I met her—not because of

a crush, but because she stood out. Her earnestness

and integrity were unlike anyone else. She didn’t en-

JILL: I was 17 and Kriss was 16, and we met in a girl’s

empowerment support group. We were best friends

for 10 years. When we met, we were both complete-

ly straight-identifed. It would never have occurred

to me… Queer wasn’t even a word when we met in

1987.

KRISS: I think I was queer, but my father was a Jeho-

vah’s Witness [a member of a Christian denomina-

tion known for its strict beliefs and interpretation of

the Bible], and I was taught over and over again, like,

homosexuals are terrible. It’s funny that I’m doing

this interview in Jill’s childhood bedroom because

we would hang out in here and talk about her boy-

friend Danny or my boyfriend, and her mom would

come banging on the door because she thought I was

turning Jill gay. So, [she] was clairvoyant. But it was

ironic because we were really just talking about our

boyfriends.

JILL: Kriss, as my best friend, was always the most

important thing in my life. We talked about how,

when we got married, our husbands would have

to understand that, of course, the most important

thing was that we live next door to each other.

KRISS: But we couldn’t imagine a life where we were

together. Tat wasn’t an option.

Did you decide to celebrate your

commitment to each other before

marriage equality?

What was it like facing pushback

from your family and friends regard-

ing your wedding?

11

gage in any of the kind of b******t or drama that

went on among other girls, and that was really re-

freshing… From the very frst moment, the way she

lived in the world inspired me to be my very best

self. She met fear with love, and I always knew she’d

be the best person to parent with because of how

she operates in the world.

“I had never met a more en-

thusiastic and friendly per-

son. Jill was like an excla-

mation point—about every

aspect of life in every way...”

KRISS: I had never met a more enthusiastic and

friendly person. Jill was like an exclamation point—

about every aspect of life in every way—while I

was more of a sit-and-receive-life kind of person.

Trough Jill, I felt connected to a vibrant way of liv-

ing. I’ve always felt lucky to share all the phases of

my life with the person who’s known me the lon-

gest. Even with the rejection from Jill’s family early

on, my life’s story is one of gaining another fami-

ly—one full of true, genuine love, belonging, and

acceptance.

JILL: We wanted to have a

wedding, but [in 1999] it

was not legal any-

where in the U.S.,

and

we

didn’t

know anyone else

who had ever, as

two women or two

men, had a wed-

ding. We felt strongly

that real recognition

required claiming the

traditional rituals and

structures as our own to

change perspectives and

for my family to fully grasp

who we were to each other.

KRISS: Because it was denied to us, it felt important.

I didn’t think that I would have wanted a wedding

with a man because of the idea of ownership, and,

to be honest, spending so much money on a day

seemed crazy to me. But because it is just a fact that

our relationship would not have been considered

equal, I wanted to do all the trappings of a wedding.

I wanted a wedding cake. I wanted it to be ofcial.

KRISS: We made the RSVP checkboxes say, ‘I’ll be

there with my dancing shoes’ or ‘As much as I love

lesbian weddings, I am unable to attend.’ It was a

joyful and proud way of claiming a moment where

you really can be hatefully rejected by people. Tose

who were hateful and not coming had to take a mo-

ment and be with themselves about the fact that

they’re not going to check either box.

“My mom didn’t want to be

involved in wedding planning

at all... And so there was a

lot of grief for me that I didn’t

really get to have my mom

through that, and it was pain-

ful to know my mom was los-

ing her one chance at going

through that with her daugh-

ter.”

JILL: My parents, my mom especially, were terrifed

of being rejected by their community. As a young

person, I was thinking they don’t actually love me.

Tey love the version of having a daughter that they

think is legitimate, and that doesn’t feel like love.

My mom didn’t want to be involved in wedding

planning at all.

KRISS: If Jill had married Danny, her high school

boyfriend, she would have wanted to be a part of all

of the planning.

Did your family’s perspective change

after the wedding?

12

JILL: And so there was a lot of grief for me that I

didn’t really get to have my mom through that, and

it was painful to know my mom was losing her one

chance at going through that with her daughter.

KRISS: [Her mom] would call over and over and

over again, and she would say, ‘I’m just going to

say this once. No one likes a long wedding. Keep it

short! No more than fve minutes!’

JILL: She was terrifed of being humiliated in front

of all of these people. We had our parents walk us

down the aisle, and you can see in photos, even,

my mom’s grimace. And then I think in the cere-

monies was probably where something inside of

her changed, where she actually had an experience

of like, ‘Wait a second, people are so moved.’ Right

aferwards, so many people, including her relatives

and friends, said it was the most beautiful, mean-

ingful ceremony they’d ever been part of.

KRISS: It was so curative for [her] mom. It was like

the frst time that she could start actually knowing

me.

JILL: Aferwards, she said, ‘I want a copy of the vid-

eo as soon as possible. I’m so excited.’ Having the

experience of her community fully embrace and

recognize this union was transformative for her.

KRISS: People think marriage is about rights, like

being able to be at the bedside of your dying spouse

and things like that, but it is so much bigger. It’s

like having a ritual that allows people who are ho-

mophobic to gain a broader view. Our rabbi said,

‘Your support of Kriss and Jill to be two women de-

ciding to do this in this world that we’re in is criti-

cal.’ And you could see that people in the audience

were suddenly aware of how vulnerable and brave

and important it was.

JILL: For all of us, we were doing something that felt

momentous.

KRISS: Jill and I did the ritual of the frst dance.

Te couple usually dances, and then they invite

people to join them. So we were dancing, and then

our friends started... (breaks into tears) All of our

friends, most of them straight, chose same-sex

partners. My female friend went over and asked my

grandmother to dance. It was such an afrming and

beautiful thing.

How did it feel when same-sex mar-

riage was finally legalized, and what

emotions came with your decision to

get legally married?

JILL: We thought it was never

going to happen in our lifetime.

It really was that unbelievable.

Ten in 2004, Gavin

Newsom decided San

Francisco would start

granting legal marriage

licenses.

People

few

from all over the country

to get in line at city hall. It

was surreal and magical—

there was someone playing

the harp in the rotunda.

And they were doing it as fast

as they could before anything

could happen that would stop

it. So we went. Kriss was preg-

nant, it was pouring rain, and we

waited through the night.

“Jill and I did the ritual

of the first dance... All of

our friends, most of them

straight, chose same-sex

partners... It was such an af-

firming and beautiful thing.”

JILL: We were married on February 16th, 2004.

Te marriages just kept going until it was somehow

stopped by conservatives. Ten, at some point, we

got the devastating news that our marriages would

not hold and were not considered legal. It was a

long four years until 2008, when it was legal again

in California. [But] Proposition 8 was going to be

on the ballot for the November 2008 election, and it

would ban same-sex marriage again. And so people

were racing. We went to the Oakland courthouse on

October 10th, 2008. We wore our wedding dress-

es, which no longer ft us. Tey weren’t zipped in

the back, but we wore them, and we waited in a

very long line because, again, people were coming

around the clock to get married because time was

running out all over California. We were one of the

18 thousand that got married in that four-month

period.

Did your family’s perspective change

after the wedding?

JILL: I feel extreme gratitude for people who’ve

had the courage [to love]. And I want to be care-

ful in saying this because I know there are places

where it’s not safe to do so, but I think getting to

be with the person that you love in this way is such

an important aspect of being human. Seeing other

LGBTQ people live authentically and seeing us

represented in media has helped me grow and love

more freely.

“We went to the Oakland

courthouse on October 10th,

2008. We wore our wedding

dresses, which no longer fit

us. They weren’t zipped in

the back, but we wore them,

and we waited in a very long

line because, again, peo-

ple were coming around the

clock to get married...”

KRISS: My experience of our friendship, love, mar-

riage, and family has always been inside of me. Te

light and joy of it have never dimmed, even when

the world said, ‘Your love doesn’t count.’ I love our

love, you know?

13

“From the very first moment, the way she lived

in the world inspired me to be my very best self.

She met fear with love...”

14

Is Politics the

Ultimate Lust?

ower, it seems, is the ultimate drug. Te more

you get, the more you want. Te pursuit of pow-

er is ofen described as a hunger, but can it be

the ultimate form of lust—a desire so intense it

shapes not only leaders but entire societies? In politics,

this insatiable hunger can lead to corruption, division,

and confict. Te word “lust” is typically associated with

sexual or material desires, but in a political context, it

refers to an overwhelming desire for total control. Pol-

iticians who are driven by this force seek authority for

the sake of dominance rather than peace or protection,

ofen resulting in a distortion of democratic values.

It’s hard to deny that politics is a power game. Every ac-

tion or decision a politician makes is an exercise of in-

fuence. But why do politicians sometimes seem willing

to go to any lengths to secure control? Te feeling of

command is addictive. As power slips away, politicians

can become desperate to retain it. What begins as an ef-

fort to serve the people can quickly turn into an efort to

serve oneself. As this desire for power deepens, politi-

cians ofen manipulate, lie, and disregard the rule of law

to hold onto their control,

no matter the cost.

We live in an era where so-

ciety is drawn to the “ex-

treme”—the far-right, the

far-lef. We’re fascinated by

the outrageous, no matter

our own beliefs, because it’s

entertaining. But politics

shouldn’t be about specta-

cle; it’s about making de-

cisions that impact lives,

and here, the lust for

power is dangerous.

Figures like Don-

ald Trump have

made the lust

for

power

central

to

their politi-

cal identi-

ty. Trump

has re-

p e a t -

edly ig-

As this desire for power

deepens, politicians often

manipulate, lie, and dis-

regard the rule of law to

hold onto their control, no

matter the cost.

By Alison Imohiosen

15

nored the Constitution, the document he vowed to

“preserve, protect, and defend,” in favor of his own per-

sonal beliefs and political goals. Numerous scholars and

journalists have highlighted Trump’s “lawless conduct,”

including “revoking birthright citizenship,

freezing federal spending, shutting

down an agency, removing leaders

of other agencies, fring gov-

ernment employees subject

to civil service protections

and threatening to de-

port people based on

their political views.”

His constant need

to assert dominance,

his blatant disregard

for any norms, and his

obsession with control

over his political nar-

rative are all part of

a much deeper issue:

the lust for power at any

cost. Tis is not just a pas-

sive abuse of authority;

rather, it is a greed, or

an intense desire to feel

superior, to feel total

absolute

dominance.

Power itself can corrupt. So

when topped with politicians

who want more than just

leadership, it can easily spiral

out of control.

At frst glance, comparing the

lust for power and romantic love

might seem like a stretch. But,

upon closer look, the two have striking sim-

ilarities. Both are driven by intense desire,

a need for control, and an unwillingness

to be vulnerable. Te obsession with

command in politics ofen mirrors

the intensity of romantic rela-

tionships in ways that might

surprise us.

Much like romantic love,

the lust for power in

politics is all-consum-

ing. Leaders ofen re-

fuse to show vulnerability, fearing it might undermine

their authority. Instead, they focus only on their goals

and become so single-minded in their pursuit of this

power that they are blind to the consequences. Trump

is a leading example of this behavior. During his cam-

paign, Trump’s political advisors emphasized their hope

to “fundamentally overhaul the structure of the federal

government [...].” Trough his disregard of the consti-

tution, Trump has already begun to dismantle the rule

of law. Tis behavior isn’t unlike a romantic relation-

ship. In love, many are willing to abandon everything,

including their personal values, to be with the person

they desire. Te intensity of their feelings blinds them

to reality. Politicians, too, can become blinded by their

lust for power and they focus on securing their position

and attaining control rather than what’s best for their

people. In debates and discussions, political candidates

ofen dismiss questions, refuse to admit they might be

wrong, and avoid showing weakness. Teir reluctance

to be vulnerable is similar to how people can behave in

romantic relationships if they fear that revealing any in-

security could jeopardize the entire dynamic.

When driven by lust rather than duty, the pursuit of

power leads to corruption and division within a society.

In politics today, it seems that political engagement is

more about the pursuit of power and spectacle than it

is about genuine civic duty. Te lust for power has over-

taken the principles of democracy and public service,

and we’ve seen it happen time and time again. Lead-

ers need to remember the point of their governance: to

shape and oversee the structure and order of a society.

It’s time for lust to leave politics.

[Trump’s] constant need

to assert dominance, his

blatant disregard for any

norms, and his obsession

with control over his politi-

cal narrative are all part of

a much deeper issue: the

lust for power at any cost.

Photo By Michael M. Santiago /Getty Images.

16

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